My Heart Is So Full

My heart is so full of happy thoughts. It has been such a long time that I have felt light and happy. It is like a huge cloud has been lifted. I fill like I can succeed in anything that I do. I love feeling like this.

I can't imagine my life without the gospel, even though I am pretty sure I know what my life would have been like if I didn't have the gospel in my life. I would have followed the footsteps of my biological mother. When I talk of my mother, I am not talking about the one who gave birth to me even though I love her for giving life to me and giving me a chance to be tested on this Earth, I am talking about the sweet woman who took me in at age 11 and loved me even though I wasn't hers. That never stopped her from loving me. She never loved me less then any of her other children. My mother and my Father are the greatest example of loving parents, of Christlike people, of how we should live our lives. They willingly take in lost souls. They gave me love when I couldn't find it anywhere else. I have never known a mother so willing to serve, then my mom. I love her. I strive to be like her every day. She had 8 children and has become a foster mom to many others. I was one of the lucky ones to be adopted in and sealed to them for all eternity. I have wonderful siblings even if we don't get along all the time but we get along all the time with siblings. I am very close to many of my adopted siblings. My mother is always there for me. I can call everyday and she never once tells me to stop calling. She has really helped me become a better mother. There have been so many times when I have just needed to rant and she listens without ever scolding me. I love my dad, he is always there when I need advice, or even when I just need a hug. He is such a great hugger. He always tells me he believes in me, never doubting that I can be that person I am a meant to be. Oh how I love my family. I could never have gotten where I am without the love of my adopted parents.

When I was in Washington I got to see my other siblings from my biological side of my family. I was happy to see them but I could tell that things were missing from their life. I could tell how unhappy they were. It made me sad and pray for them even harder. I having been slacking as a sister and sharing my testimony with them and with others. That is why I write this today that I might touch someone out there. I love all my family. It has been tough to get close to them but as we have gotten older we are better and talking and sharing. My sister and I were talking about our brother who had been adopted out as a baby and I asked myself out loud why I hadn't also put up for adoption with him and my sister said the sweetest thing. She said she was glad that I hadn't. She loved having me as a sister and that even though we fought as children she looked up to me. God knows where we are suppose to be. I know that with all my heart. I went through the things I did as a child to make me the person I am today. It broke my heart to leave my sister behind. I wanted to bring her and her baby home with me and take care of them. Give them a life they deserve but she is where she needs to be, to become the woman she is suppose to be.

I love this gospel and all it represents. I get to be with my husband for all eternity. I can't imagine my life without him. They don't make them much more perfect then my sweet Dan. He never belittles me, he is always there lifting me up. He is such a good father, such a good man. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.

I love my children even when they drive me nuts. I am shocked how fast they grow up. Kaitlyn is growing so much. She is such a sweet spirit. She is always showing love to her siblings. She is quick to forgive and always willing to give hugs. She can always find a way to cheer me up. Skyler, so much energy, but such a tender little heart. He always is such a quick learn. He is trying to keep up with his sister. Wanting to succeed is his goal. He is always trying new things. Aaron is my little healer. He healed me. He makes me feel like a good mom. He always has a smile for his mommy and he just warms my heart with joy. Children are so quick to forgive. I wish we all could all be like little children. Children believe without ever doubting.

Family is so important and it isn't valued like it should be in the world today. We have to protect our families. Give them all the love we can muster so that when they go out into the world they will fight for what is right. That they will hold true to their standards. We have to stick together as a family and as a ward family and as a church. We need to be strong and we can only do that if we stand strong together. We can't fight the evils of this world alone.

I have the greatest ward. I feel like I fit in for once. I have friends to talk to and to share with. I have great friends who are always willing to help. I hope all my friends know that I am there for them whenever they need me. Babysitting, hanging out with, if you need help cleaning or even if you just need a shoulder to cry on. I want to help, just as my friends have helped me. I could not have made it through these last few years without such great loving friends. I am grateful for all I have met and for those I will meet in a later time. Life is better when you have someone to share it with.

I know I am not perfect, I am far from it but I am trying every day to be more like my Savior. I know that this gospel is true. I have seen great blessing. I don't feel like I always deserve them but my Heavenly Father is always blessing me and being patient with me. I can't imagine a life without this feeling. I love the peaceful feeling that he is always there for me. He has never once given up on me even at my lowest point. I love him for that. He will never give up on any of us. Even when we think he has. He carries us at the toughest points in our lives. I am ever so grateful for Jesus Christ. I can't imagine the pain he went through especially since I am a wimp but what he did by taking my sins I am forever grateful. I will get the chance to be return to him and our Father in Heaven because of his great love for his people. He has the purest of hearts. We owe him so much. He wants us to return to him.

I love this gospel, I love my family and friends. We really have it good. We are so blessed to be on this Earth today. My heart is so full of love that I hope I can pass on some of the love that I am feeling.